AIRLINE BEAUTIES

AIRLINE BEAUTIES

You can take your $10 disposable camera or $50,000 of expensive video
equipment, wait and wait for the rest of your life, and chances are that
you will never get pictures like these.

Вижте снимките !!!

Airline Announcements?


United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out
furniture here, find a seat and get in it!

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On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we'd like to have. '

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'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out
of this airplane'

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An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his
ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, smile, and give them a 'Thanks for flying our airline.' He
said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart
comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old
lady walking with a cane.

She said, 'Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?'

'Why, no, Ma'am,' said the pilot. 'What is it?'

The little old lady said, 'Did we land, or were we shot down?'

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As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone
voice came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella, WHOA!'


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After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a
flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, 'Please take care when
opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has
shifted after a landing like that.'

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Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing:
'We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the
terminal.'

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Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo , Texas on a
particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the
Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard
landing, the Flight Attendant said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to
Amarillo . Please remain in your seats with your seat belts
fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the
gate!'

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'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our
compliments.'

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'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......except for
that gentleman over there.'

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Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake
City . The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 'That
was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to
tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it
wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.'

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After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix , the attendant came on
with, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt.
Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against
the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning
bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through
the wreckage to the terminal.
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Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 'We'd like to thank
you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the
insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube,
we hope you'll think of US Airways.'

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Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - 'Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish
to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you
can light 'em, you can smoke 'em'

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A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport . After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the
intercom, 'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles
. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth
and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!'
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the
intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry i f I scared you
earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally
spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of
my pants!'

A passenger in Coach yelled, 'That's nothing.
You should see the back of mine!'

Еее, па има ли някой да е дошел с плуване в Америката... Вярно си е най-безопасно.

Ме най- ме кефи при излитането като ме залепят за седалката и за секунди сме над земята...

Точно при излитане се усеща силата на дфигателите, след тфа си кара почто по инерция ...

Мен ме кефят 'въздушните ями' и гледката на облаците от горе- като памук.

И мене ме кефят облаците яко ...

Мене облаците също ме кефят, ама мразя кацанията. Имам чувството, че топките ми се качват в гърлото. Като е по-голям самолета не е чак толкова осезаемо, ама един път ходих в Германия с един малък 36 места - ужас!

И аз не обичам чуфстфото от излитането, летенето и кацането.

Аз всичко на всичко сам се возила два пъти. Первият през далечната 85 година... маршрут Бургас-Варна..15 мин.. изповръщах си червата. И вторият път, когато дойдохме тук през January 2006. Пътувахме с кралските холански линии...а преди това до Амстердам ни нагъчиха в един наш самолет... Бях си доста уплашена. Виках си :Ей сега ако оживея... курбан ще направя. "Ужасен полет"!!!. Но после другият беше кеф... и много пиячка. До мен беше седнала една канадска учителка и с нея до ванкувър се поздравявахме много често. Почти не го усетих полета. Като кацнахме... беше много хубав слънчев ден... и гледката от горе беше прекрасна... много се изкефих.

И аз драйфах и ми ставаше лошо ф началото, сега вече сфикнах, което не значи че ме кефи да летя ...